Stealing for Jesus

Lucy's pool seems to have expelled it contents.

I drove out to The Sandy to go fishing.

All the signs pointed in contradictory directions. So, I drove around in circles.

I eventually found a body of water, attempted to catch fish, lost lures, and blamed my lack of success on some noisy dogs splashing in the water near by.

On my way "back" I stopped at a lake/reservoir. While I did not loose any lures here, I also didn't catch any fish. I was eventually chased away by a pack of angry ducks.

At some point I realized that Roseburg has plenty of fishing. So, while I'm in Portland I should be doing city things.

This bumper sticker said something like; 3 nails, 2 logs, 1 Jesus, 0 fun. or maybe it said something else, I'm not sure.

Wherever I had ended up was not really anywhere near where I had planned to be.

On my way back to Portland I stopped at various thrift stores and stole things when I felt the prices were too high.

While these strikers with "witty sayings" are extremely un-funny. I do like the trashy-butterfly-lower-back-temporary-tattoos.

This thrift store was warehouse filled with mediocre crap. I did get a shirt that is not dissimilar from a shirt I already own. They also had an organ similar to one of the organs I have, only less good. They were trying to get like $200 for it. Like hell I say.

At a Goodwill or Salvation army I found a wood burning kit (wood burning is a hobby that society has, for the most part, decided is stupid. The kit comes with a soldering iron (wood burner), some patterns (there was one of people playing football, now that wood look awesome burned into a piece of wood!), and scraps of wood and leather (wood burners also work as leather burners). Anyway, I wont go into why I know so much/anything about wood burning, but inside the kit I found a scrap of leather that someone had burned the name Scarlet into, I think it was determined to be a failure because someone had gotten a little overzealous on the A. I decided that if anyone were to buy the kit they, most likely, would not want the Scarlet, so, I took it.

At the Goodwill I found a Pat Benatar tape with Love is a Battlefield and Hell is for Children on it and The Breakfast Club soundtrack. Goodwill (who are well known for their price gouging) was charging $2 a tape. Like hell I say. So I payed for one and stole the other.

Natural born killaz

This is the bike rack I got for $5 at the strange-meth-addict-money-laundering-pawn/thrift-shop on the outskirts of town.

This is the Sportsman Warehouse in Salem, Oregon. These are two life size deer fighting. There were allot of dead animals, it was a little intense.

They had a camo for every occasion.

Including sexy beach party.

I guess I forgot my keys in the ignition...

While I was at the Sportsman Warehouse I picked up a foot pump for Lucy's kiddie pool.

The route one needs to take in order to get off the freeway and onto the bridge that takes you back over the freeway to the East side of town and over to Lucy's house is totally stupid and completely DD.

This tree had a bong in it.

Lucy had set up her kiddie pool in the parking lot next to her house. The chair, 50 gallon drum and old speaker are all load-bearing and thus essential to the livelihood of the pool

The pool had some shape issues, we figured once it was completely full it would sort itself out.

This theory wasn't completely wrong.

This is a baby drinking beer. Shafer no less.

The pool had several different leaks and needed to be continuessly filled with air and water.

We barbecued hamburgers in Lucy's drive way. The barbecue was filled with moldy charcoal, we figured that we could probably all use a dose of penicillin, so we left them in.

This car was doing donuts in the parking lot. I think it was to celebrate Canada Day or possibly Bastille Day.

O Canada

For some reason they seem to have removed the ceiling at the supermarket.

This is a caged teenager. He looks like a vicious one.

This is me driving a tractor! F***ing Awesome!

If I get nothing out of this year, at least I can say I drove a tractor.

These teenagers got marijuana leaves air-brushed onto their arms. I asked them if they were maple leafs and if they were Canadian or something. They thought I was an idiot, I thought it was hilarious.

Look out for that cheetah

These young musicians kept taunting this Irishman. We had to ask them all to leave.

From a distance the bricks on the front of the stage almost look real.

Wildlife Safari brought a cheetah. Unfortunately we were not allowed to go on any cheetah rides.

The handlers kept feeding the cheetah baby birds. It seemed vaguely inappropriate.

I think the cheetahs name was Simba or Ariel or possibly Bambi.

I went to get some ice cream and asked for a taste (as on generally does at an ice cream shop). When I had finished my taste I put my spoon into a bucket labeled "spoons". The woman behind the counter gave me a look like I had just killed her puppy and said "those are the clean spoons". She then stormed off to dispose of the 15 cents worth of spoons I had just ruined.

Another, much friendlier, woman served me some delicious ice cream.

Then I dropped it on the ground.

My Awesome Outfit

The cat ran away with my number two key. This makes sending email a little difficult.

The Summer Arts Festival started today, so I dressed up like a tourist. All I need now is a fanny pack.

This is (obviously) a barbershop quartet. I don't think you really understand how much acappella singing creeps me out...I'm getting hives just thinking about it.

One of stickers on this truck read "show your tities, win a balloon"

These people are doing the I-have-lost-all-sense-of-rhythm-so-I-will-flail-around-to-my-internal-juke-box Hippie Dance. A search on the internet turned up this "discussion" of the Hippie Dance.

Evelyn, Lupita, Adam, and I, came to Oakland (the cutest town in Oregon). Adam was forced to leave because the charmingness of Oakland was just too much for him.

This graffiti would be funny if I could read it/remember what it said.

I spent a long time staring at this picture trying to decipher what was so funny about it (or probably more likely what was vaguely amusing about it).