Hebe & Salmon Unicorn

I was somehow coerced into making a salmon themed banner for The Salmon Run Banner Project.

Artists sent in proposals for banners dealing with the theme of salmon.

My banner is titled Hebe & Salmon Unicorn medium: Glitter, jewels & paint

In 1908 the Women's Christian Temperance Union put up a statue of the Greek goddess Hebe in downtown Roseburg, Oregon.

The statue was meant to encourage people to drink water rather than succumb to the enticement of alcohol.

In 1912 the statue was knocked down by a runaway carriage.

Shortly there after the statue mysteriously disappeared.

In 2004 plans were put into motion to erect a new Hebe statue in downtown Roseburg, Oregon.

The Hebe statue has been thwarted at every turn by various religious organizations.

I think the major fear is that people will accidentally worship the statue.

I personally like to do all of my false idol/pagan/Satan worshiping/human & animal sacrifices in the privacy of my own home.

It's a little un-clear why I would be asked to make a banner. I thought I had made it fairly clear that I am not a painter.

The auctions start at $50. I spent at least that much on jewels alone.

I tried to paint Hebe, but as I mentioned before I am not a painter, so I attached a photocopy of a photo of the original Hebe.

I think there will be glitter in my apartments carpet for many years after I leave.

I had been a little worried about the community's reaction to my banner.

Then I realized how awesome my banner was.

After that I was no longer worried.

This project has really taught me that I don't actually know how to paint.

My lack of knowledge of painting has resulted in considerably more steps than I think were necessary.

Maybe I have learned some sort of lesson for next time.

Though it seems pretty doubtful.

The banners go up for auction Thursday July 26th you should bid on mine, you can also view the other banners, if you want, at www.uvarts.com/banners/.

No rest for the wicked

This is what the hippie dance looks like in the dark.

This night light, in Marie's apartment, served no real purpose.

This appears to be someone on a couch...maybe.

This is a table filled with assorted sale items.

It's a little un-clear as to what any of these pictures have to do with one another/anything. In this news paper someone had written in commentary on various articles.

I was recruited to do some construction work while on vacation.

I was sub-contracted, by Lucy's man friend Jed, to primer some steps.

According to my contract, I'm not allowed to do any other work while working for Americorps. I hope my work doesn't find out.

When we were done we ate sandwiches.

I kind of wish I had eaten at Happy Teriyaki.

Smuger than thou

I went to see Body Worlds 3 at OMSI. Supposedly all of the bodies in this show were obtained legitimately, meaning that no criminals were executed to facilitate this show. There was one body that was praying to his own heart. Awesome. I would have taken a picture but my camera ran out of batteries and the gift shop only sold double A's.

At the Portland Art Center I saw a video called Mapping Meg Ryan. The artist statement said something about the gaze...formulaic...homogenous narratives and overt happily-ever-after implications...blah, blah, blah, the video was rendered completely humorless. I think this may be an ongoing problem at the Portland Art Center.

It had been raining and I was tired of getting that stripe on the my back so, I found a fender in the garage and attempted to attach it to my bike. It kind of worked.

I went to Alberta (Oregon) for the Last Thursday Art Explosion. In Portland (Oregon) art is only allowed in certain sectors sectors of the city on certain days of the month. I guess you could call Portland a hippie police state.

Mary has many very strange roommates. One of her roommates lives on the front porch and one is named Monster and has a dog named 8.

The Last Thursday Art thing was basically a hippie-love-in/drum-circle/funny-bike-gang free for all. I'm not sure if we actually saw any art.

This was a reggae band playing in the clown/funny-bike-gang houses front yard. While there were other people on the street dancing, the singer seemed to be mostly catering to one busty young lady doing the hippie dance.

Mary owns several pairs of the same shoes.

Stealing for Jesus

Lucy's pool seems to have expelled it contents.

I drove out to The Sandy to go fishing.

All the signs pointed in contradictory directions. So, I drove around in circles.

I eventually found a body of water, attempted to catch fish, lost lures, and blamed my lack of success on some noisy dogs splashing in the water near by.

On my way "back" I stopped at a lake/reservoir. While I did not loose any lures here, I also didn't catch any fish. I was eventually chased away by a pack of angry ducks.

At some point I realized that Roseburg has plenty of fishing. So, while I'm in Portland I should be doing city things.

This bumper sticker said something like; 3 nails, 2 logs, 1 Jesus, 0 fun. or maybe it said something else, I'm not sure.

Wherever I had ended up was not really anywhere near where I had planned to be.

On my way back to Portland I stopped at various thrift stores and stole things when I felt the prices were too high.

While these strikers with "witty sayings" are extremely un-funny. I do like the trashy-butterfly-lower-back-temporary-tattoos.

This thrift store was warehouse filled with mediocre crap. I did get a shirt that is not dissimilar from a shirt I already own. They also had an organ similar to one of the organs I have, only less good. They were trying to get like $200 for it. Like hell I say.

At a Goodwill or Salvation army I found a wood burning kit (wood burning is a hobby that society has, for the most part, decided is stupid. The kit comes with a soldering iron (wood burner), some patterns (there was one of people playing football, now that wood look awesome burned into a piece of wood!), and scraps of wood and leather (wood burners also work as leather burners). Anyway, I wont go into why I know so much/anything about wood burning, but inside the kit I found a scrap of leather that someone had burned the name Scarlet into, I think it was determined to be a failure because someone had gotten a little overzealous on the A. I decided that if anyone were to buy the kit they, most likely, would not want the Scarlet, so, I took it.

At the Goodwill I found a Pat Benatar tape with Love is a Battlefield and Hell is for Children on it and The Breakfast Club soundtrack. Goodwill (who are well known for their price gouging) was charging $2 a tape. Like hell I say. So I payed for one and stole the other.